A question almost every child asks. A question that has confounded and frustrated parents and teachers for many, many generations.
As adults, we flee from this inconvenient question and instead reply, “that’s the way things are,” or “because I said so!” Have you ever tried answering a barrage of “whys” from a child only to discover that any statement you make, even your most cherished convictions, inexorably lead to an exasperated “I don’t know!”? Try it - it’s a profound thing. At the heart of it all, we…don’t…know. How uncomfortable and humbling.
I often tell students, “Beware of anyone who calls themselves an expert.” Why? So glad you asked! Because so often, an “expert” is someone who believes they have most of the answers and doesn’t themselves ask many questions anymore; someone whose ego has eclipsed their wide-eyed wonder.
We at Schoolhouse of Wonder practice a technique we call “the Art of Questioning.” Like all really great tools, I don’t think any of us fully understand it, which makes it an inexhaustible resource. Part of the art involves the questions that we, the teachers ask. The more questions we can introduce between the student’s initial curiosity and the eventual answer, the more one truly learns. Also, let’s remember what the “why?” questions have taught us - we don’t really know anything, anyway. That’s one of the most important things I try to teach.
Another aspect of the art of questioning is to teach people to keep asking those questions. This is the wondering and, as Socrates says, “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.” There is nothing in this world unworthy of wonder. The best trackers and detectives know this well! I remember a coyote tracking exercise that I once did at Tom Brown’s Tracking, Nature, and Wilderness Survival School, in which we were instructed to choose anything (my group chose a tree) and to ask as many questions as we could, no matter how outrageous, about that thing. By the end of the exercise we had about two hundred questions and knew the tree in a deep, detailed way. We were never asked to answer a single question.
During a recent trip to Sennett’s Hole on the Eno River, a few campers and I who weren’t swimming went climbing on all of the big, beautiful rocks and oh, what mysterious treasures we found - hair skulls, bones, nuts, tracks, feathers, and a couple of things I couldn’t even categorize. The kids’ questions were insatiable! Their enthusiasm reminded me to look at things I’d forgotten to wonder about.
Later at the picnic shelter, we turned that same inquisitive beam on discarded cigarette butts. Were they smoked by a man or a woman? (The lipstick suggested a woman.) Right- or left-handed? When? Were they also eating? What else could we deduce from this? More kids became interested and excited about these Sherlock Holmes-style clues. Once again, the kids surprised and impressed me. Me teaching them? ...What a laugh!
We should strive to defend our children’s sense of wonder. It doesn’t need to be taught, just protected and nourished. The next time a child asks you “why?” observe your reaction when you reach that foggy point of not knowing. Our children are much wiser than we are. Smile at the little gurus. How many questions can you open your mind with right now without rushing right in with quick band-aid answers? Can you say “I don’t know,” and feel fine with not knowing? I think that one of the most important things we, as adults, should remember is just to ask those questions. Our world seems too full of people not asking enough good questions.
Question everything! Why? Because that’s the way things are, and I said so!